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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a crying anime fan... a weeaboo-hoo"

"Her: are you single? [flashback to 2011 where I tried to kiss a girl but she turned away and I kissed her cheek] Me: haha idk"

"I'm so hungry I could Instagram a horse."

"Two peanuts walk into a bar... One was a salted."

"Difference between a 14 year old girl and a Volvo? I don't have a Volvo BOUND AND GAGGED IN MY BASEMENT"

"Why are Australians so well balanced? They have a chip on both shoulders."

"I ate my dog because it ate my homework. Just kidding, I ate it because I'm Asian."

"Me: Nice biker jacket. You ride? Him: No Me: So you're a liar? Him: Me: Him: Nice yoga pants Me: That jacket looks so awesome on you!"

"Who will win between Obama and Osama in chess? Osama, Obama is missing two towers."

"The Golden Globe goes to... Burrito ... for best actor in a microwave, with a convincing performance of taking longer than necessary."