204039

Joke of the Day

"Don't get me started on trigonometry... I'll go on a tangent."

"""Congratulations on the baby! Childbirth is so beautiful!"" - Someone who has clearly never witnessed the birth of a child."

"The Barber of Seville by Aaron Floor"

"TIL: that changing a light bulb is not as easy as it sounds. On my first day as a lighthouse keeper."

"Do infants enjoy infantry... as much as adults enjoy adultery?"

"Which composer do lumberjacks prefer to listen to? Chopin"

"My mom says that you are what you eat. That's strange, because I haven't eaten any sexy beast recently..."

"To celebrate Boxing Day on Friday, I had a five minute training montage and beat the shit out of the biggest Russian I could find ..."

"What's a bulimic person's favorite movie? ""The Purge"""

"Why would 12:00 make the best cop? ""Hands up"""