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Joke of the Day

"[math teacher] your homework looks like chicken scratch, but you got them all correct [later at home] I think she's on to us, mathmachicken"

"What do you mean mom, how could my birth certificate be expired?"

"Lazy People Fact #5812672793. You were too lazy to read that number."

"Do you know how they came up with the name for a shark? It's a mix of two swear words; ""SHIIIT"" and ""FAAARK"""

"How could the dolphin afford to buy a house ? He prawned everything !"

"So why is it called the ""funny bone""? BECASE IT'S ATTACHED TO YOUR HUMERUS"

"""I don't want a lot for Christmas."" Later... ""All I want for Christmas is you."" EXACTLY WHAT DOES THAT DO FOR MY SELF-CONFIDENCE, MARIAH."

"What do you get when you cross a killerwhale and a cow? I don't know but don't try to milk it!"

"Bill Gates is so rich... he hired cancer to kill Steve Jobs."

"What's the name of that band Dave Matthews is in"