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Joke of the Day

"A boob job sounds like the best job in the world."

"You know why the swimming events are so popular at the 2016 Olympics?.... Because Brazilians rarely get too see clean water"

"If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple ""Thank you"" would be nice... ...None of that ""How did you get into my house?"" business."

"What is white and disturbs your breakfast? An avalanche"

"What do you call an intoxicated midget? A little drunk."

"Actually, the past tense is 'hanged' as in 'he hanged himself'. Sorry about your dad, though"

"Holy Communion: PRIEST:""This is the body of Christ. Take it "" ME:""Uum,can I instagram it first?"" *We laughed & then I was excommunicated*"

"What did the sadist do to the masochist? nothing."

"How does a redheaded surgeon operate? Gingerly"

"How do you embarrass an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it's from."