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Joke of the Day

"If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple ""Thank you"" would be nice... ...None of that ""How did you get into my house?"" business."

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits until a boy is at least 14 before coming on his face."

"If guys were smart, they'd forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food."

"My friend told me to sing Wonderwall I said maybe."

"A Priest and a Rabbi are sitting on a Bench... and they see a group of young boys walk by. The Priest says ""Do you want to fuck those kids?"" The Rabbi says ""Out of what?"""

"A girl runs up to her mother with a pile of crap in her hand ""Look what I almost stepped in!"""

"Dumb Joke David: Jim, you've got to be the dumbest son of a bitch I've ever met Jim: Really? I think that's a hyperbola"

"If it's too cold in a room... Go to the corner, it's 90 degrees!"

"Damn girl, are you a pig? Because your mother looks like a pig. Because you look damn hot bacon in the Sun. Because I want to stuff you like Thanksgiving dinner. . . . More suggestions appreciated"

"My wife says she's leaving me, because the beginnings of my jokes are becoming cliched and predictable..."