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Joke of the Day

"What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant? Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant..."

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"What do you say if you meet a toad? Wart's new?"
"You see two puppies. ""Awwwww!"" But they're cannibal puppies! ""Ahhhhhhh!"" One puppy eats the other! ""Ewwwww!"" Then he takes a nap. ""Awwwww!"""
"If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get? mistletoe"
"I've heard addicts claim that heroin became their ""God"" but... ...they're always taking his name in vein."
"What a weird thing that a Presidential candidate is like ""I tried to stab my friend"" & his opponents are like ""no you didn't."""
"Know how to get people to stop showing pictures of their kids? reply with ""Mmmm fuck yeah"""
"That's the third time Adam Sandler's scootered past my house this morning. Dude if you want to go on my trampoline just ask"
"Rape jokes aren't funny... They're too forced."
"What do you call a group of birds that stick together? Vel-crows. You're welcome."
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