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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a group of birds that stick together? Vel-crows. You're welcome."
Next Joke
"That chinese tattoo on your neck must be the symbol for unemployment."
"Me: my fitbit broke Sales Guy: how Me: i put it on my dog's tail and asked him who's a good boy Sales Guy: if i give you a new one can i see"
"Why does Kim Jong Un stick out at a black gospel church? Because he doesn't have Seoul."
"""Excuse me, this coffee tastes like mud."" Waiter- ""Yes sir, it's fresh ground."""
"If you make fun of your significant other's love of Hunger Games are you.... Mockin'Bae"
"Say what you will about Hamas... ...but their education system is top notch. Over 90% of the children in Gaza become ""Rocket Scientists""."
"Honey, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that the penguin pooped in the bathtub. Wife: ""But we don't *have* a penguin!"" Me: ""And now for the good news...!"""
"What do you get when you roll weed on a dictionary? ...High Definition"
"My cat that died 3 years ago got a letter saying she needs to register if she wants to vote, showing how well Florida handles elections."