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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend left me for telling too many bad jokes... I guess her love was pun-conditional."

"What's Trump's favorite type of nut? A walnut."

"My youngest son's dirty clothes sit on the floor, beneath the laundry chute. I admire his hope that they'll bounce up and swish down."

"My dad finally left me a voicemail where he didn't introduce himself. I think we're getting closer."

"Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all they do is attack things and fly away and nevermind I think I get it now."

"What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod!"

"My son wanted to go whale watching for his birthday. So we sat outside McDonald's."

"What's speed of sex? 68 because at 69 she needs to turn around."

"What's the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with a boob job? One's a crusty bus station."

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out man!"