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Joke of the Day

"How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies don't have the motor skills or the depth perception to change a light bulb."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog."

"A girl never comments on another unless she's jealous."

"I just got a papercut... we'll just see if I recycle this week... stupid cunt tree."

"kids born in 2000 never have to worry about forgetting how old they are"

"Your face. There's a bat for that."

"I brought my Beats headphones to work, and instead of being left alone, I've had 7 rap battles and am in the finals against A$AP Carol."

"What do you give an elephant with big feet ? Plenty of room !"

"I tried putting my cat on a diet once, but she's still fat... I guess it just didn't work out"

"Mexicans are shocked about Trump's wall But they'll get over it"