51637

Joke of the Day

"-Can you describe the jellyfish that stung you? -Yes, it looked like a lazy toddler tried to draw an octopus."

"I keep having this dream that I'm being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?"

"What do Nazis drink for breakfast? Orange Jews."

"Taylor Swift waved at a boy yesterday and he didn't wave back... So she will have a new album coming out tomorrow."

"What do you get when you throw a bomb in a French bathroom? Linoleum Blown-apart"

"he died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish"

"""Of course you're the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder"" - alcohol"

"Policeman: Why are you driving on the sidewalk? Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street."

"My wife believes in compromise If we agree on something we do it my way, and if we disagree we do it her way."

"I'm depressive and suicidal, though I have great news! I have terminal cancer! :D"