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Joke of the Day
"She died doing what she loved best, making toast in the bathtub."
Next Joke
"I called the bowling alley today and asked if they had 10 pound balls. He said ""yes"", which I thought was amazing for how fast he was able to run to the phone."
"Why aren't healthy drive-thrus a thing? I want an egg and a grapefruit and a latte and I don't want to get out of my car damn it."
"I got 99 problems and they're all friend requests from people I didn't like in high school."
"Your moms so fat...... When she goes to KFC, she licks other peoples fingers."
"You're about as unique as a Bob Marley poster."
"Do you know why eggs are the only thing to laugh at 9/11? Because it's an inside yolk"
"I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts ""Batman"" when he's drunk. I know I do."
"2 fish. there are 2 fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says, ""How the fuck do you drive this thing?"""
"Today a man knocked on my door And asked for a donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water."