215658

Joke of the Day

"2 fish. there are 2 fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says, ""How the fuck do you drive this thing?"""

"What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom? A pickpocket snatches watches... Courtesy of the late Redd Foxx."

"An autistic girl asked me out today And I said yes. I guess you could say I like girls that are down for everything"

"Call your boring friend Simon, ""Sighmon"" he'll never know the difference and you can laugh about it with your cool bros over beers."

"When I have children I'm gonna make them watch the movie ""2012"" and tell them I survived that. #awesome"

"What is a Yankee ? What is a Yankee? Well, its like a Quicky but your by yourself."

"Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people? There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number."

"I kept pouring water on my Iphone.. because Siri won't tell me where the terrorists are."

"What did one lesbian pirate say to the other? Scissor me timbers!"

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus!"