118258

Joke of the Day

"I bet Bruce Wayne sometimes accidentally signs his credit card receipts ""Batman"" when he's drunk. I know I do."

"What did one hat say to another? You stay here, I'll go on a head!"

"How do you get down off a horse? You don't, you get down off a duck."

"It hurts my feelings when people call me a failure. I'd rather people think of me as successfully challenged."

"He always wanted a woman that would devour him whole like a gas station roasted chicken. She always wanted a gas station roasted chicken."

"My father was a nun... Whenever he was in court and the occupation was called for, he would say ""nun."""

"What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker? A box hedge fund!"

"How many Hitlers does it take to change a light bulb? Nein"

"Number of US states who claim above average elementary test scores? 50. Number of US states who shouldn't be allowed to teach math? 25."

"Best part about staying up late = total absence of morning people."