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Joke of the Day

"Deep in the jungles of Vietnam... ...you don't know what's friend and what's pho"

"I don't want anti-wrinkle cream, I want a serum that bestows wrinkles upon my enemies."

"I bought a fitbit... I haven't went running yet, but I jerked off for six miles today."

"Why are Canadians atheist? Because they are Eh-theists."

"My science teacher taught us about gravity today. It was such a heavy subject to take..."

"Why do they put fences around cemeteries? People are dying to get in."

"I've decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn't want to do it at first but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning"

"I found Korn in my poop. I'm glad it was Falling Away from Me instead of Coming Undone."

"What do you call a horny lightbulb? Illumi-naughty. ;)"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Hodor"