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Joke of the Day

"My science teacher taught us about gravity today. It was such a heavy subject to take..."

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"INTERVIEWER: What do you see as your biggest weakness? ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself"
"Did you know that you could also use comments sections to write positive things about people?"
"Urine is the opposite of you're out."
"Did you know that Miley has a twin sister? Her name is Tyranna and she's a palaeontologist."
"My lifetime stats are pretty average until you move over to the Donuts Consumed column."
"I got voted ""Least Likely To Succeed"" by my high school class... Fuck, I hate being a teacher."
"Why does everyone love when a ghost goes to a party? Because he always brings the boos"
"Pornhub has banned submissions of the Germany-Brazil game. They don't allow rape videos."
"Well, son, when a man loves a woman very much he expresses that love by slowly transforming into a human sloth."