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Joke of the Day

"I carry around a note in my wallet that says, ""The curse must be passed, I'm so sorry"" in case it's ever stolen."

"The Jerk Store called... and they're running out of you! (thought about this joke all day)"

"No trees were killed to send this tweet, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced."

"What's the difference between a 13 year old girl and a cow? No really, what's the difference? I accidentally mixed up all the meat in my freezer."

"Did you hear about the guy who fell into a truck full of French bread? He's in a lot of pain now."

"My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?"

"At first I didn't like beards, But then they grew on me"

"You probably get this a lot but... *punches you in the face*"

"[talking to mcdonalds cashier] which burger has the most acai berry vitamins and superfood antioxidants?"

"Brother: Which is farther away- NY City or the moon? Sister: NY City. Why do ask? Brother: Well I can see the moon but I can't see NY City."