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Joke of the Day

"At first I didn't like beards, But then they grew on me"

"My lucky number is 4,000,000,000. Doesn't come in handy when you're gambling. Come on 4 billion... Fuck, 7. We need some more dice. 4 billion divided by 6, at least. -Mitch Hedberg"

"If you date a Chinese girl and you don't want to meet her parents, you're doing it Wong."

"Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing."

"What's 6.9? The share one gets in an oral-sex tensome."

"Opportunity knocks only once, if you hear a second knock it's probably a Jehovah's witness."

"I called a Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims."

"An Englishman walks into a bar. In these stories there is usually an Irishman, Welshman and a Scotsman, but they are still at the rugby."

"Doctor how do I stop my nose from running?! Stick your foot out and trip it up!"

"What do you tell a gardener with a psych major? I fucking hate my mom."