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Joke of the Day

"No trees were killed to send this tweet, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced."

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"What do you get when you give a head of lettuce to an epileptic? A seizure salad."
"Why was the Jewish man so defensive about his beer? Because Hebrewed it."
"A neckbeard is talking to his friend about his trip to the doctor. He said they found a tumor, it's... M'lignant"
"I spilled a whole case of forks today..... ...you could say I forked up real bad"
"Dear Muslim refugees: just pretend to be Christian. That's what most Christians do anyways."
"What's the fat person's favourite football club? KFC."
"What's North Koreas favorite drinking game? Pong-Yang."
"Why did the Kenyans win the marathon? They heard there was water at the end"
"what do you call a fat guy telling all his friends that hes gay for the first time? coming out of the pantry! i dunno if this is the kinda stuff you guys like, but i had to share it with someone."