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Joke of the Day

"She threw me out after discovering I had no cooked bread... She is lack-toast intolerant."

"Pro tip: when your neighbors make you mad, send your 8 y/o son over to describe in complete detail what all 379 of his Hot Wheels look like"

"How to Keep an Idiot in Suspense - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ... I'll tell you later."

"Q: What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? A: Roberto."

"The girl I have a date with tonight texted and said 'I have no gag reflex ;) ' So I guess that means I'm taking her to a Nicolas Cage movie"

"I thought twerking was tweeting at work That's how out of the loop I am"

"What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a lawyer? Some adults like lawyers."

"Which character of Pokemon is a jew? Ash"

"What's a woman's favourite brand of Applejack? Dickson Cider"

"What do you call citizens of Florida who eat at Chick-Fil-A? Gay-ters"