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Joke of the Day
"Well at least the world isn't spinning uncontrollably around a huge ball of fire."
Next Joke
"I take my wife out everywhere... except that she keeps coming back!"
"There should be a terrible show about a woman, her mom, and her daughter, all 3 named Jennifer, called ""Jenerations"" on Lifetime or the CW."
"Weed doesn't make you stupid, you were stupid before you smoked the weed."
"For Valentine's Day, I bought a bottle of champagne and a box of chocolates... ...and passed out alone on the couch, same as every night."
"My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was rightI feel ten years older already."
"My girlfriend asked me why I was blow-drying my crotch... Apparently ""heating your dinner"" was not the response she was looking for."
"So how do I take the gum out of my hair? Cancer."
"Ants Dancing Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar? A: The lid said, ""Twist to open."""
"What is an angel's favorite font? Sans Seraph"