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Joke of the Day
"""Oh, look! She's drinking vodka, let's kill her!"" - Spiral staircases"
Next Joke
"I bought these sneakers from a drug dealer... He must have laced them with something because I've been tripping all day!"
"Does anyone know if ISIS is hiring? I heard they offer new hires a company cell phone and/or car."
"What kind of lotion does a bullfighter use? Oil of Ole'"
"What do you use to compare and contrast nordic cultures? A Sven diagram!"
"My eyesight is good, but my strongest sense is non."
"There are 10 kinds of people in the world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't."
"""Remember,"" said my boss, ""It takes 20 years to build a reputation..."" ""...And only a few seconds to say I had sex with your daughter."""
"What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? One's a Goodyear, and the other's a great year. x/post from r/funny"
"maybe ancient civilizations wouldn't have died out if they'd built regular buildings instead of these dumb ruins"