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Joke of the Day
"""Oh, look! She's drinking vodka, let's kill her!"" - Spiral staircases"
Next Joke
"Why doesn't Ronald Reagan drink orange juice? Because he's dead."
"Subway kid: Would you like your sandwich toasted? Me: No, I'm toasted enough for both us. In fact I'm kind of hoping it can drive me home."
"If you are the winner of Friday's $500 million Mega Millions jackpot can receive the winnings in one lump sum, yearly installments, or one tank of gas."
"Liars tend not make eye contact, which is why I don't trust pirates half the time."
"What do you call it when a Mexican digs their feet under the sand? Bury-toes. Hah hah"
"The Whip was especially popular In the 1800's"
"Donald Trump said he thinks we made the right decision to leave the EU. This confirms that we absolutely did not make the right decision."
"I've started going to AA (Illiterates Anonymous)"
"What's common between Hillary and Bill Clinton? A jew blowing their presidency"