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Joke of the Day

"What did the feminist say in her intro to computer programming course? I hate this class, it keeps objectifying me!"

"But Honey, if I stop eating this third bowl of Cap'n Crunch just because the roof of my mouth is bleeding, then the terrorists have won."

"Why is 77 better than 69? You get eight more"

"I decided to make a new logo for /r/jokes you like it?"

"Yeah, no, I don't have a FitBit. I'm pretty sure I have a solid grasp on how inactive I am. I don't need like bells and alarms and stuff."

"I have invented a revolutionary drug that can cure third-world hunger... Just take one little pill with a meal 3x per day."

"I hate being bi-polar. It's AWESOME!"

"""Alex is visiting later tonight."" Alex from work or Alex the astronaut with amazing hearing? [From the moon] It's not me, Thelma. Hi Bob."

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector today The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy."

"It's 2011 and we're not driving dragons? The future sickens me."