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Joke of the Day

"But Honey, if I stop eating this third bowl of Cap'n Crunch just because the roof of my mouth is bleeding, then the terrorists have won."

"Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach? Arnold Schwarzeneighbor (OC)"

"Bricks and mortar are so passe. I going to live in my homepage."

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo' drizzle"

"If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a racist... ... a black man might rob me."

"Interview Tip: When you get the ""where do you see yourself in 5 years"" question, don't say ""post-apocalyptic tribal warlord""."

"Watching Benjamin Button. Never gets old."

"We're an eclectic bunch here, but we all have one thing in common: We've sacrificed the chance to run for public office with these tweets."

"Where do you get a dog license? At the DMV (Department of Mutt Verification)"

"I'm 20 years old, and my SO is 9 months pregnant."