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Joke of the Day

"I have invented a revolutionary drug that can cure third-world hunger... Just take one little pill with a meal 3x per day."

"Why did the african child die while choking on rice? because he had malaria"

"Marriage is so disrespected as an institution nowadays that soon brides may be tossing the groom and keeping the bouquet."

"What is the best thing to wear with a Michel Jackson jacket? Your Billie Jeans"

"What do you call a couple of asses standing next to eachother in an asparagus field? An ass-pair, I guess?"

"What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drone!"

"Fred: I got 100 in school today. Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 100 in? Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well at least you can add !"

"""It's summer! Yay! No more school shootings!"" American children."

"[Sky-diving] INSTRUCTOR: pull your shute! ME: my shoe? INSTRUCTOR: your parachute! ME: my pair of shoes? [later] CORONER: where's his shoes?"

"Why are outdoor workers so in fit? Cause they work out."