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Joke of the Day

"What did the Gorilla do with the apple he was holding in his hands? He brought it to school and said 'An Ape-lle for the teacher!'"

"What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly? A dead bird."

"Just read ""The Three Musketeers,"" and it's true, the book is always better than the candy"

"I hope my childhood BFF forgot that silly pact we made at five to kill each other if we hadn't become ponies by 2015. She was really dark."

"Alexis Ohanian"

"Gave my cat some organic soy milk and now she wears two pairs of tiny Toms."

"Dear Alcohol, we had a deal. u were suppose 2 make me funnier, smarter & put me in a good mood.... I saw the photos - we need to talk."

"Sometimes I like to repost my statuses that didn't get any ""Likes""... because they deserve a second chance too."

"DINOSAUR PARTY TRICERATOPS: GROUP SELFIE!! *hands phone to T-Rex T-REX: Still not funny you guys. Not. Funny."

"Me: I HAD A VISION! I was a GARDEN GNOME & I was ridding a FLAMINGO & the FAIRIES sprinkled cocaine on me & I FLIED!! My Therapist: ....."