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Joke of the Day

"I was looking at the baseball, trying to figure out why it was getting larger. Then it hit me."

"What do you call the cleavage of someone with breast implants? Silicone Valley"

"How do you best serve burned food? Coal'd."

"Why do they call it a ""roach clip""? Cause ""pot holder"" was taken."

"You all know why Hurricane Matthews is so bad Well unlike Katrina its a guy"

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? ""Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!"""

"Two chemists went into a bar The first one said to the bartender, I want H2O, the second one said I want H2O too. The second one died"

"We have a saying in Germany. It is better to have loved and lost than to engage in a land war with Russia in the winter."

"Interviewer: Your CV is a flip book of you setting things on fire. Me: Wrong. If you flip the pages the other way I'm putting the fires out."

"I don't work here. I'm a consultant."