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Joke of the Day
"You all know why Hurricane Matthews is so bad Well unlike Katrina its a guy"
Next Joke
"After spending the last week stealing cars and killing people I just found out GTA had missions."
"""Alcohol doesn't affect me"" *Wakes up with cornrows, a light saber and two taxidermy lizards*"
"""Seek immediate medical help if you experience a resurrection lasting more than 2000 years."""
"Accidentally used my GF's razor and now I feel fat and I'm pretty pissed about something you guys did 3 years ago"
"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? I've got it on vinyl."
"Patient: Tell me honestly how am I? Dentist: Your teeth are fine but your gums will have to come out."
"Another gorgeous fall morning I wish I was sleeping through."
"""YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?"" - guy that just got a new kite for his birthday"
"All it took was a skirt and one strong gust of wind and all of a sudden, my spirit animal is Hello Kitty."