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Joke of the Day

"Thanks iPhone autocorrect, I'm sure my dad wanted to know that I miss going on our weekend fisting trips."

"What does the Rose iphone 7 and the Titanic have in common? They both lost Jack."

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.. But I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"I didn't like Age of Ultron You don't even figure out how old he is."

"""Special today! Jokes, half off!"" ""I'll take one."" ""Why did the chicken cross the road?"" ""I don't know, why?"" ""Sorry, that's all you get."""

"Why are sea sponges good at statistics? They understand coralations!"

"If I was a sick professor giving a lecture... Ibuprofen"

"If Kanye West was an egg... ...he'd be over-Yeezy."

"Sex with me is a lot like gun control. Some of you want it, but we all know it's not going to work down south."

"ALBUS: Got Dementors to protect Hogwarts this year. They suck souls out! Indiscriminately! KIDS: ... STAFF: ... ALBUS: I can't control them."