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Joke of the Day

"I started seeing a psychic. I knew she was good because she told me she's voted best in the city 2017 and 2018."

"*buying teacher's gifts* 7: Mrs. J said she hates candles. Me: {recalling mountain of homework every night} Pumpkin Spice Candle it is then!"

"I think I might be dying But I really like the color of my hair right now."

"Why do Asians prefer Sony? Because it's a stereo type"

"What do you get if you dont finish your meal at a cannibalistic restaurant? A bodybag"

"So I downloaded a drawing program from the PirateBay the other day... ...it was pretty sketchy."

"What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff!!!"

"This morning I went for a run and came back home after 2 mins because I forgot something... I forgot that I was fat and could only run for 2 mins."

"Why didn't the motorcycle want to go for a ride? It was two tired..."

"What's the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver? The drunk driver runs the stop sign. The stoned driver waits for it to turn green."