224496

Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you dont finish your meal at a cannibalistic restaurant? A bodybag"

"I'm just a girl trying to keep up with a guy on my Fitbit challenge who may be walking out more sexual frustration than me"

"I tried to do stand up comedy Didn't work so well since I'm in a wheelchair."

"""Where do babies come from?"" Asked the little boy... Perplexed, his dad answers ""well they come from the store, son."" Kid looks at him with disgust and goes ""eww you had sex with the store?"""

"What do you call a porn with two couples? A pair-a-mount picture."

"How do you know a girl is into you? Just pinch yourself, if you don't wake up, she doesn't."

"That movie was so bad... ...only Helen Keller liked it."

"I got caught making out with my cousin once - mum and dad went mental. In my defence we were just kids, and there was an awful lot of alcohol at her funeral."

"Did Batman know that Alfred was embezzling billions to finance a 4-person Magic act that was a front for robbing banks?"

"What the zombie said One zombie to another : You look paler than usual. Zombie : Must be all the grey matter I've been eating. Yeah I know where the door is..."