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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring."

"Every spider has the same powers as Spiderman, yet none of them choose to be superheroes. This is everything you need to know about spiders."

"My girlfriend asked me if I felt like aural. I think that's where it goes in one ear and out the other."

"A policeman pulled me over today after my wife fell out of the car... He said ""Sir, did you know your wife fell out of your car?"" I said "" Oh thank god! I thought I had gone deaf."""

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ba-dum tss"

"Cats are about as useful as a football bat."

"Things that don't kill bees 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming"

"I have a problem with people that are missing body parts. I guess I might just be lack-toes-intolerant."

"People keep saying Supermodels are struggling with bulimia But I'd say they're actually really good at it."

"Show me a dude eating pork ribs and macaroni after midnight and I'll show you a dude about to hit send on this tweet."