202728

Joke of the Day

"If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo's show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it's Halloween because our family reunion was in July...."

"Why did the nun get a free hot dog at the fair? Because she spontaneously performed fellatio on the hot dog salesman. This made him feel charitable."

"I bought the wife a new bag for her birthday..... Hoover works a treat now!"

"What's Irish and stays out all night? Patio furniture."

"Build a man a fire, he is warm for a day. Light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life."

"Every time you enter a room, you should say ""Smells like farts in here."" This way when you fart later, they'll never suspect you."

"Asked my friend who works at the tampon store if he could get me a discount He said he'd pull some strings."

"What do you call it when a group of people in a single vehicle travel through a lengthy underpass? Carpool tunnel!"

"Friends are like snow when you pee on them, they disappear."

"[Jesus on the cross] *texts with 1 hand* ""um dad y hav u 4saken me wtf"" *5 hrs pass* ""new phone. who dis?"""