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Joke of the Day

"Build a man a fire, he is warm for a day. Light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life."

"Girl: Did you like that cake Mrs Jones? Mrs Jones: Yes very much. Girl: That's funny. My mom said you didn't have any taste."

"Note to self: ""rubber"" in the US does NOT mean ""eraser"". Bright side: my popularity in this office is at an all time high!"

"Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bullet proof vest"

"Commercial for elbows: A frustrated man steers his car with totally straight arms. ""Why did I go with the cheap arms?!"" Narrator: ""Elbows"""

"A stupid knock knock joke Knock knock! Who's there? Europe. Europe Who? No you're a poo!"

"Considering we've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I'm more surprised other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S."

"I like my girls the same way I like my coffee. Hot as fuck and all over my crotch while I am trying to drive."

"Standing up quickly is my Six Flags."

"I asked my lawyer cousin, an orthodox Jewish man, his opinion on gay marriage He said ""that would be GREAT for business"""