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Joke of the Day

"I bought the wife a new bag for her birthday..... Hoover works a treat now!"

"Seems weird that evolution produced the female gender just to spend their time shopping at Target and returning what they bought at Target."

"What's the difference between a good joke and click bait? This isn't a good joke."

"What do they say when you leave an abortion clinic in Germany? Al-fetus-zane"

"The Counselor was greeting the new campers. 'So you decided to come to camp' she said to one. 'Nope' the camper answered. 'I was sent to camp!'"

"Medusa is the sexiest woman to ever live... everyone who saw her got hard"

"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Wash her hand out with soap. ... rearranged the furniture. ... put her in a round room and told her to go sit in the corner."

"The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep."

"I'm not saying I've gained weight, I'm just saying I don't think my belt buckle should be facing the ground..."

"I asked my wife to bring me a Kinder Surprise when she went to the supermarket... She delivered."