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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a prostitute and a crack dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and use it again and again."

"What did God say when he saw the first black person? Ooops, I burnt one!"

"I fought the law, and it turns out they have better resources than I do."

"The men who fought in the Revolutionary War were very brave. They would take turns standing there shooting at each other... ...and that takes balls."

"My 5 year old just ended a phone call with ""I gotta jump, Daddy. I'm out."" And now everyone in my house is officially cooler than me."

"What do you call a guy that hates Christmas and steals the woman you love? Ebenezer Scrooge-yagirl"

"I used to date a girl that liked it in the ear. Every time I tried to put it in her mouth she turned her head."

"Well if there's one thing we can all agree on regarding tomorrow's inauguration ... Orange is the new Black"

"Laughter is the best medicine. Depression is the best food. Happiness is the best animal. I don't know since we're clearly making stuff up."

"Being atheist is like buying a floor model No assembly required."