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Joke of the Day

"The Kama Sutra has announced a new sex position called The Plumber: You stay in all day and nobody comes!"

"Not saying obamacare is perfect but the data doesn't lie. With Obamacare there've been zero Hitlers. Before obamacare there was at least one"

"What position would Obama be if he played football? The half-black"

"Me: ""The only person I need in my life is you."" Bartender: ""Please stop trying to hold my hand."""

"How many male chauvinist does it take to change a lightbulb? None, the wife can cook fine in the dark"

"I just got the heebie jeebies. That's what I get for having unprotected sex with a ghost."

"Why did the samurai hate nonsense? Because he was a sensei."

"Superman: Look, Lois! Up in the sky! It's a bird! *squints* It's a plane... *puts on glasses* Oh, it's a plane. Lois: CLARK?!?"

"What did the man order at the Indian restaurant? It's Naan of your business."

"Whenever my car won't start I open the hood so I can have a good look at all the things I don't understand."