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Joke of the Day

"Superman: Look, Lois! Up in the sky! It's a bird! *squints* It's a plane... *puts on glasses* Oh, it's a plane. Lois: CLARK?!?"

"Woke up and poured myself a cup of coffee and then took a nap... So no, technically, Ms. Snooty HR, I didn't sleep through my alarm again."

"How do you spell relief? F-A-R-T"

"Why was the cook sad when all the water in his pot boiled away? Because he mist it."

"I still remember the day the dentist removed my braces. My trousers fell down and he molested me."

"How come Django's wife never hears Django coming? The D is silent."

"What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?... ......Roberto"

"Former boy scout leader goes shopping A former boy scout leader goes shopping. He sits down and grabs his beef jerky. ""Tastes like boy scouts,"" he says."

"What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? ""Attention K-Mart shoppers..."""

"My favorite thing to do in cities is walk down busy sidewalks, pass by people, and say into my phone ""Target is on the move."""