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Joke of the Day

"Not saying obamacare is perfect but the data doesn't lie. With Obamacare there've been zero Hitlers. Before obamacare there was at least one"

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"Two men are pissing off a bridge. ""Water's cold"" says one. ""And deep."" says the other."
"what did a crab say to another crab on christmas hey sandy claws"
"teacher asked a boy ............ if you have ten chocolates and you give 2 to girl on first bench 3 to second and 5 to last bench girl then what will be left for you reply : three new girl friends"
"Me: What music you into? Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too [thinking of something to say to impress her] Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin"
"Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems."
"CaO+H2O=Ca(OH)2 Is this reaction illegal too?"
"Why did u eat it??? A lady was pregnant. Her son asked her ""Mom, What's in u'r tummy?"" Mom answered ""Its a sweet, lovely baby."" Son says, ""If the baby is so sweet and lovely then WHY DID U EAT IT???"""
"What do you call a man who sells clockwork toys? A Wind-up Merchant."
"If you're an adult and you aren't tired, you probably just fell asleep and started dreaming. Wake up. It's time to be tired again."