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Joke of the Day

"Whenever my car won't start I open the hood so I can have a good look at all the things I don't understand."

"I sometimes wonder why I'm 33 and single. Then I see you with your screaming kids in the grocery store and quickly remember."

"Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars? If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read?"

"What's Bill Corby's favorite type of Jello? Grape. The ""G"" is silent. Just like his lovers. Edit: I can't edit the title, I suck at spelling -_- (and proofing)"

"Just skipped past a quote from Gandhi on Instagram to ""like"" a photo of a hot dog."

"Can we PLEASE... stop beating a dead gorilla."

"10yr old sons joke: Why was ""C"" afraid of all the other letters ? They are all ""Not-C's"" !"

"The whole world loves the dairy-farmer Saudi Prince. He's brown-skinned, sweet, great with kids but drinks Old English 800 all day... ... but hey, everyone loves a chocolate malted milk sheik!"

"How do you make a baby cry twice? You rub your bloody dick on their teddy bear."

"You're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds."