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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""The only person I need in my life is you."" Bartender: ""Please stop trying to hold my hand."""

"I should put my GPA up for adoption. There's no way I can raise it by myself."

"What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? A virgin"

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Alickalotapuss"

"Barista: Latte for Waldo Barista: Do we have a Waldo here Barista: Where's Waldo Me: *proudly nudging a stranger* I did that"

"(Outside at dusk) Wife: Lovely evening. Me (Covered in mosquitos): Glorious."

"Did you hear that the North American Man/Boy Love Association go a new tech support guy? He's an e-NAMBLA."

"Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury."

"Love is overrated it's only 5 pts in Scrabble."

"Are you my homework? Because I wanna slam you on my desk and do you all night."