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Joke of the Day

"What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he got asked to play in a film about classic composers? I'll be Bach."

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One-to hold the bulb to the socket while the world revolves around them."

"What's the difference between a waiter and a waitress? The size of the tip."

"What's the easiest way to make a million dollars? Invest a billion."

"What do you call a 20th century grammar nazi? Alt-Write"

"Neighbor: I need to run to the store. Can you watch the baby? Me (thinks of Daredevil cued up on Netflix): I am a registered sex offender"

"When I have more than $20 in my account at the end of the month I have to wonder what bill I forgot to pay."

"what's your best oscar one liner? tell me."

"isnt it odd how people kill flys just because they're annoying if people killed people for being annoying i would've died like 15 years ago"

"What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? The bench can support a family."