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Joke of the Day

"Neighbor: I need to run to the store. Can you watch the baby? Me (thinks of Daredevil cued up on Netflix): I am a registered sex offender"

"Q: How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A: A buck an ear."

"So I got a manual on how to please a man. So far it's really come in handy."

"What does a Mexican use to cut pizza? Little Caesars"

"I'm investigating the tooth fairy, and it's going well... I've managed to get a molar into her operation. I'm going to find out the tooth at the root of all this."

"Q: Why is being in the military like a blow job? A: The closer you get to discharge the better you feel."

"How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists? Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it."

"How do you spell ""Pringles"" in Spanish? Pringles"

"I just broke up with my girlfriend who had a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone on the side."

"What does snowman have and snow women doesn't, snowballs."