202398

Joke of the Day

"I've just been robbed by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Though ironically, he wasn't wearing a mask so I don't know which one he was."

"A man walks into a crowded bar brandishing a gun... The man yells out ""WHOS BEEN SLEEPING WITH MY WIFE???"" A few moments later, a man in the back yells back ""YOU DONT HAVE ENOUGH BULLETS!""."

"My coworker has inspirational quotes up in her cubicle and one of them says ""choose your destiny"" so I guess she plays Mortal Kombat too."

"Why do Spanish beaches have a lot of women? Cos they're playas."

"On the 5th day of Christmas? Christmas is ONE day, Carol. Convert to Judaism if you need a longer holiday."

"How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them."

"A homophobe goes to the doctor to see if he has cancer... He says, ""Give it to me straight, Doc."""

"""I'm still a virgin"" -theres plenty of fish in the sea ""Ur right. I'll find someone"" -no, I mean u should give up & be a lonely fisherman"

"The best color is cyan. It's CYAN-tifically proven to be so."

"A really funny joke. http://youtu.be/h8ycKKA7LZI A work-in-progress from my stand-up set. Tell me what you think!"