202342

Joke of the Day

"I hate it when celebrities ask me to donate to some fund, you make 30 millions a movie & I make $30 a day. You send money."

"I was shopping with my wife the other day and saw a TV on sale for $20... It said that the volume was stuck on full. I looked at my wife and said ""I can't turn this one down!"""

"I lost my virginity to a mentally disabled girl last night I wanted my first time to be special."

"How Did the Janitor Get Rich? Sweepstakes."

"When I jerk off I like to sit on my other hand until it gets numb, then change to that hand right at the last minute . . . I call it ""the old 'bate and switch""!"

"I sleep with all my cupboards opened so that when i bump into them while sleep walking im woken up abruptly"

"It's weird how no one on The Jetsons ever addresses the apocalyptic events that left only white Americans behind, living in the sky."

"I put my root beer in a square glass. Now it's just beer."

"I think I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start eating."

"Why did the sperm cross the road..? I accidentally put on the wrong sock today...."