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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning."

"I wish my girlfriend was more like my job... My job sucks dick!"

"Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal."

"Congratulations on having your 2nd kid. But aren't you supposed to learn from your past mistakes?"

"What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny"

"What's red and invisible? No tomatoes."

"What did one tile say when the other tile offered it a glass of port? No thanks, it's bad for my grout."

"What Did Cinderella say to the prince when she got to the ball? Grgggll"

"My car's tank is on E and I'm still driving... Call me crazy, but I think I just beat the system!"