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Joke of the Day

"Whats would happens if you added Hillary Clinton and the USA and subtracted an A? I dont know but it would be Hillary Us."

"How many prostitutes can you kill before the FBI gets involved? Asking for a friend."

"Just once I'd like the guy hired to kill me to complete the job and not fall in love with me."

"Do headphones just tie themselves in knots while we're not looking?"

"I lost a pop quiz last night. The question was: where do women mostly have curly hair? The correct answer is ""Africa"". You have a very dirty mind!"

"Finally threw out some old bananas because once they go black you never go back."

"Remember: You don't owe anybody anything. Unless they killed someone for you. Then they probably deserve a nice gift card."

"Prison seems to have it all. Free food, free housing, free sex."

"Take that seed. Yes that one Burn it. Now crunch it up. More. Now pour this hot water on it. Let me drink that. It's good. Name it ""coffee"""

"Guys I'm like next to Austria right now... Hungary, I could really go for a cheeseburger..."