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Joke of the Day

"Last week I chopped my neighbour's tree and now it's growing back because his-tree repeats itself..."

"I hug people I hate so I know how big I need to dig the hole in my backyard."

"In a way people that work in coffee shops are also First Responders. #Heroes"

"There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend. Czech mate. Edit: Australian, ty unsc_luke"

"Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies? Because this docent makes any cents."

"All I want for Christmas Boy: I want a brother for Christmas. Santa: Send me your mother."

"All these phone companies advertising for ""More lines, more savings!"" But when I do more lines my savings go to shit."

"Rhianna How does Rhianna look after a date with Chris Brown? White and gold."

"Just found my birth certificate. Ugh, it's official: I've gained weight."

"Las Vegas Floor Show What is the difference between a circus side show and a Las Vegas floor show? One has a cunning array of stunts the other has a stunning array of cunts."