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Joke of the Day

"All these phone companies advertising for ""More lines, more savings!"" But when I do more lines my savings go to shit."

"guy A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells ""You should have been here at 8:30!"" he replies: ""Why? What happened at 8:30?"""

"Did you hear what happened to the computer programmer? His wife told him, ""while you are out, buy some eggs."" He never came back."

"Math joke: Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 is Dec 25"

"Deep sleep prevents aging. Especially when you are driving."

"Why are americans bad at DotA ? Because they cant defend their towers."

"Why was the scarecrow promoted? He was outstanding in his field."

"[me, in a sting operation] Can I buy your best stuff? DRUG DEALER: what do u mean by stuff? *talking into my shirt* what do I mean by stuff?"

"So a conservative was browsing r/news Haha that's a good one."

"What did the redneck get on his SATs? Barbecue sauce."