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Joke of the Day

"There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend. Czech mate. Edit: Australian, ty unsc_luke"

"Show me someone who says ""once you try black you never go back"" and I'll show you someone who's never had an overripe banana."

"Didn't have internet on my phone for the past few hours. Finally graduated, got married, lost some weight, read 15 books and showered."

"What does a chef call an undercover cop? Pig in a blanket."

"*cleans house while wife's out* W: *walks in* wow babe, thanks so- M: APRIL FOOL'S *runs around making huge mess til it's worse than before*"

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? You don't know?"

"What did the Taliban soldier say to his buddy? Afgan I pee... Stan he fer me a minute."

"What do you call a blind german? A not-see (Nazi)."

"What is the difference between an onion and a hooker? I always cry when I cut an onion"

"The proper way to make a Caesar salad is to repeatedly stab it with dozens of other people in a Senate building."