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Joke of the Day

"""Hey, it's been forever, let's hang out!"" ""No, it's been forever for a reason."""

"How does Hitler like his Juice? From concentrate."

"Teacher: That's quite a cough you have there what are you taking for it ? Pupil: I don't know teacher. What will you give me ?"

"How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules? Post something humorous in /r/lounge. P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?"

"I told my sister I'm into incest she took it really hard."

"There's a new channel called DOG TV that offers 24 hours of programming to entertain dogs while their owners are gone. My dog doesn't want to watch TV I just got him an iPad."

"The first judge ever was like ""When I'm done talking I'll pound my desk with a hammer"" and we were all ""Ok that's not insane"""

"I've been ill with night terrors, nausea, dizziness, hunger pains, cry fits, and a stutter. According to Web MD, I have a date tonight."

"Did you ever blow bubbles as a kid? Well, he's back in town and wants your number"

"'Failed to send tweet,' is Twitter's polite way of saying, 'Dude..'"